I've been pondering alot about something lately. I'm not confident I'll be able to word my thoughts correctly so I hope I muddle through it half-right. It's about being a mom. When I was pregnant, every other mother that saw my belly told me to enjoy every moment of motherhood because it would all fly by way too soon. The most alarming was from my own mother who said, "Jenny, now it seems like it was all in the span of a good night's sleep". That's alarming because she had 3 of us well-spaced in age, so she was doing this for a "long" time. I heard this enough that I did take it seriously and vowed to never take for granted a single moment. A vow like that requires a self-check every now and then and for some reason, catching sight of this collection of stuff on my kitchen floor did it for me.

 

So big deal, huh? Well, I guess God can use whatever He wants and He used this to stop me in my tracks and remember who I am and why I do what I do. I am Joshua's mother. When I wonder what I'm suppose to do with my life, right now I need not look any further than that. Of all the people on the planet, God put this person unmistakably in my home. Is it any wonder that I should be about the business of raising him -- purposefully? How is it that we get so distracted about that?

I have my theories.

For one thing, it's not very glamorous. I don't see the covergirl of 'Vogue' with the subtitle of 'How does this stay-at-home-mom teach Bible verses to her little ones?'. But maybe, instead of hours in the gym, I should be showing my son what Jesus would do in our home and community.

Another thing is, this job doesn't pay much. I've heard many moms say with guilt that they don't feel like they're contributing equally to the home. Wow. I say without throwing a stone that, unless the situation is downright dire, this is a sad sellout. Is there a price to putting your life into the next generation? For millions of dollars, no one could do what I do because no one else loves my son the way I do. Goes back to that 'specially placed in my home' thing....

Third, but not lastly, I think there is a very strong message out there that this job is not a very smart one. Are you intelligent? Do you have a college degree? Then why are you wasting all that at home? I know women with graduate degrees and beyond that are choosing to lay that aside for awhile to make home their place of career and I want to cheer for them! With that kind of resume, isn't she even more qualified to raise a child in the way he should go?

The truth is, and this is what sobers me, on the timeline of the average 80 years of life, our kiddos are in our home only 18 of those. For me, having a son with a backpack THAT full, it's a bittersweet reminder that my time is getting shorter. Did I waste precious time on anything that doesn't go into eternity with me? Is HE going into eternity with me? Thankfully, I can answer yes to the second question but, unfortunately, I can answer yes to the first one, too. I have a vow to myself that I need to keep so thanks, God, I needed to know that.....